Tampons and Condoms
by Jack And Honey
Summary: A Daddy!Daryl AU in which Sophia survived. -Caryl implied. "In which Sophia needs Tampons, Daryl nearly kills her, Carol Hangs his laundry and Daryl schools the group on the many uses of Latex Condoms."
1. Chapter 1

Daryl Dixon was quite content to be washing his own laundry.  
He'd been washing his own laundry since he was four and damnit if he'd let some yuppy house wives think just because they be women- (even inside his own head that sounded a bit _too _Redneck, but whatever.) that they'd had the God given knowledge how he liked his underwear washed.

He'd been caught up in his own little world when he heard a rustle of leaves and a tap on his shoulder.  
Before the thing behind him had a chance to squeak it had a bolt lined up between it's eyes and a very angry redneck on the other end of the bow.

"God Damnit Sophia!" he shouted, dropping the Crossbow with a huff. "I could'a effin' killed you kid." He fumed.  
The tiny twelve year old quivered on knobbily knees her face blanched white.

"I'm, I'-I'm sor-sorry Mr. Dixon! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to sneak up on you." The kid was stumbling backwards on tiny feet attached to tiny ankles.  
"ne-nevermind, I'll leave you alone I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

Daryl made to reach out for her as he saw her start to tumble over a root and was shocked.  
(_okay, not that shocked) _to see her raise her hands up over her head as if to protect herself from being hit.  
Her posturing stung more than he cared to admit.  
In his shock he hadn't caught her as she tripped over the root and fell face first into the dirt.  
She made a pained noise from her throat causing his heart to clench.  
With dinnerplate sized hand he caught her upper arm and hauled her towards him as she flailed in midair, after she was up right and on her feet she fell against his chest with a huff as she started to cry.

"Shit- kid. Relax." He sighed, damnit. He was not made for this comforting shit.  
He got down on a knee and (after making sure she was good and standing) cupped her face in his hands looking at the damage.  
She had a gash across her forehead- pretty shallow, nothing that wouldn't heal quickly.  
Still, from experience he knew head wounds bled like a bitch-

"Hold still." He hummed as he snatched up the newly cleaned red rag from the pile of laundry and held it to her eyebrow as he wiped away dusty tears with a large calloused thumb.

"Sophia." He said after a moment. "I ain't gonna hit'cha, kid." She sniffed and nodded.

"You just scared me…" He told her as he dabbed at her skin. "I didn't spend all that time lookin' for yo' scrawny ass just so I could shoot you 'tween the eyes the moment you're up and well, huh?" he bumped her chin with a knuckle, causing her to smile.

"No sneaking up on you, got it." She nodded, eyes still watery.

They were quiet for a moment as he continued to hold pressure to the wound.

"Now, you were up here for a reason- what was it?" The question was gruff, but somehow he knew that Sophia knew he wasn't angry with her. Kid was smart like that.

"I wa-wanted to ask you a question." She said, looking down and kicking at the dirt.

"Well. What was it?" He asked, flipping the rag and peaking under it before applying it back to her head.

"It-It's okay. It was a stupid idea anyhow I'll ask Glenn or-" Her cheeks had turned pink and she was gnawing on her bottom lip.

"I ain't got all day. What is it you need?" He asked roughly.

_"Tampons." _She whispered.

"Huh?" he asked, peaking under the rag. The wound was closing slowly and surely he pulled the rag away and dipped the rag back into the water. After ringing it out he went back to work on cleaning the kids face of dirt and dust.

"You know…. _Ladystuff…" _

"oh…" He said, his eyes widening and the tips of his ears burning. '_'Oh."_

He coughed, trying to clear his throat.  
"Don't your momma have some you could use?" he asked.  
Sure, he knew what a tampon was.  
Who else was gonna go down to the pigglywiggly and buy his momma's smokes, wine and tampax.

But hell, he'd not had to venture into that aisle in ten damn years.  
(Something he tried not to think about, due to the fact that condoms were normally housed in the same place)

"I looked, and I looked where the other girl's keep theirs. But they're all too big." Her face had turned so red that her freckles seemed white.  
_'Freckles like her momma._' He thought suddenly.  
"I woulda asked my Momma, but she's so busy. And I don't wanna worry her anymore.  
And then I tried to ask Andrea, but she was on watch and told me to go play. And then Mrs. Grimes was too busy arguing with Shane and I don't know The Greene's and asking Glenn or Dale to go and get some would be just embarrassing and or Mr. Grimes is so busy….So you were the only one who I could think of that would be big enough to go and get them… and I knew you wouldn't make a big deal about it and tell everyone - This is just embarrassing!" She rambled with a dramatic moan.

A part of him was actually touched that she was the only one he felt comfortable enough to tell, even though it put him in a spot that was _thoroughly uncomfortable. _

"No it ain't." he said with a friendly roll of his eyes. '_Damn right it is'_  
"Happens to everyone, well. Every girl…" he trailed away. "Ain't my first time in the Tampax aisle." He stood up once he deemed her face clean enough to be seemly. '_sure, last time I bought them my Momma told me they were for nosebleeds when daddy socked her up side the face…'_

He shook his head. "Ain't no big deal. He told her, turning his back on her so that she might have a tiny bit of privacy.

He gathered up his washing and put it in the basket before propping the basket up on his hip.  
Deep down he was thankful whatever the ones Lori used were too big.  
Meant' Ed never did to Sophia what his own daddy had done to him.  
And for that, he was infinitely thankful. From what Carol had said, there'd been a bad seed in that man's heart. He thanked God that it never grew into anything more before the man had died.  
Kid didn't deserve that. No one did.

"'Sides." He sniffed, turning around. "Gotta go out any'how. Your momma stole my deodorant." He groused.

"I wondered why her bed smelled like Vanilla and Motorcycle." Sophia drawled, "I figured you'd just been sleepin' in there." She shrugged as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

"AH. No. I have not been sleepin' in your momma's bed." He cuffed her- (_gently) _upside the head.  
"You best git that outta your pretty little mind.'' He started walking back towards camp.

She giggled, but followed along after him.

"An' anyway-" he stopped and bent down to whisper in her ear. "It's worse for guys- Carl's got shit comin' up he didn't knew came up-" he snorted, leading her by the back of her neck.  
She didn't seem to mind though as he looked up at him in wonder. "middle a' camp too."

"Really?" she asked.

"Hell yeah. Ten times worse on the embarrassing scale. See, way I figure- ya'll got some braggen rights, with that PMS and shit. Take anyone of us men folk and have us bleed for six days straight- not to mention the stomach aches and crap. We'd be balled up in a heap cryin' like babies."

Sophia laughed, her eyes lighting up. Daryl smirked down at her, quietly pleased at being able to make her laugh.

"Hell yeah you would." She nodded quickly.  
Sophia loved that about him- that he'd let her curse and would just tell her like it was.  
The Dead were walking around. He seemed to be the only one to think she didn't need to be shielded from silly stuff like impromptu boners.  
It wasn't like she didn't already know about them anyhow.

Daryl just snorted as he deposited her by the RV where Carol was busy sorting laundry to be hung up.

"What you two been up to?" she asked, looking up suspiciously.

"She was helpin' me wash my undershort's, weren't you shorty?" Daryl asked.

"Ew. No." Sophia groaned. "I fell down and he stopped the bleeding."

Carol's eyes snapped up to search her daughters face.

"Hold your horses woman. Ain't nothin' don't even need a bandaid." He held out the basket of laundry and looked up at her through his lashes as he ducked his head.  
"Mind hangin' these up for me? I gotta go on a run."

"Nope." She smiled brightly, taking the basket from him.  
"What're you goin' for?" she asked.

"Gotta get some lube." He shrugged, bending over to tie his shoes.

"KY or astro glide?" Carol asked with a snort much to Sophia's confusion.

Daryl stood up and fixed her a dirty glare, his cheeks a violent red.  
"For my bow, Woman." He ground out. He said no more as he stomped away.  
Bloody Woman.

_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+

"He really needs to ask before he just goes off like that!" Lori told Rick as they all sat around the campfire that afternoon for lunch. "What if we needed him? Or if there was a walker attack?"

"He's his own man, Lori." Rick sighed.  
"Now, I get your point, but what'm I gonna do? Chain him to a tree like a naughty dog?"

"Could try." Shane grumbled. "Don't see much harm in it."

Sophia looked down at her lap, feeling very guilty.  
"What's the matter?" Carol asked her daughter. Sophia shook her head, taking a bite of beans, though inside she felt very guilty for having sent him out.

As if summoned, there was a great racket as the old Triumph came up the drive and parked near the RV.  
Daryl got off with a creak of his joints , after grabbing the bags he'd secured to the back of the bike, he stomped over to them.

"Got shit." He said, plopping down three of the four bags on the picnic table.  
"Cleared out the shop two towns over." he started divvying up the goods.

"Clothespins." He placed three packages of plastic clothespins in front of Carol.  
"Got some smokes. Matches." Six packages of parliaments were placed on the table in a stack, "couple a' fingernail clippers. Lady shit-" Several packages of maxipads were thrown in Andrea's lap.  
"Shampoo, Don'know what this is, but figured it'd come in handy." He wiggled a bath scratchy towards Lori who snatched it up with glee. "Razors" those two were thrown in the pile.

"Planning on getting' some?" Rick asked, gesturing to the fifteen packages of Condoms that were placed on the table.  
"These aren't even the good one's man." Shane chuckled.  
"gonna be a right bit uncomfortable to get these suckers on." He gestured to the package where it said ''unlubricated.''

Daryl rolled his eyes. "_dumbasses.''_ He hissed under his breath. "Don't ya'll know nothing?"  
When everyone just blinked at him he continued.

"There's more than one use for the things."  
"Latex is strong. It's meant to be. It's also meant to be water proof. Stick one in a sock and fill it up with water, you've got a compact, collapsible water container. Fill a couple with tinder, it'll keep clean and dry in your pack so you can start a fire- not to mention the latex is highly flammable- it'll catch fire and burn pretty hot so the tinder catches. Use it for food storage- flour, sugar, oats. Shit like that. Keep Gun powder dry. Put it over the end of your rifles- knew a guy named Ford, was in the Marines- said they use 'em to keep the sand outta the barrels of their rifles. You can use it as a fishing bobber, put it on the end of a slingshot, use it as a crude rubber glove. Use it to cover a wound. Any'ya'll ever been hunting in winter? No one likes cold wet feet. You get trenchfoot that way. Thing'll fit around your foot, put em' ever your socks." He turned his attention to Sophia and Beth (who were sitting near Carl looking pink cheeked about the whole thing)  
"Boy ever tells you he don't wanna wear one cause it don't fit-" he said to her, raising a finger. "Call bullshit and remind him that one rubber will hold two liters of liquid and you can also fit it over a bowling ball. If his junk is that big, then he probably got something wrong with him and in that case, there ain't no need for hanky-panky."  
Shane snorted as he rubbed the back of his head.

"Yes sir." Beth nodded as she and Sophia giggled.  
Lori was darn near ready to faint, Beth was giggling and Grimes looked impressed.  
Carol was simply pleased they'd caught the man saying that man words in one sentence.

"Alright, Get me few of those." T-Dog commented, taking a package of cigarettes and a couple of things of condoms.  
As the goods were divvied up and people went about their ways- Daryl shifted his head at Sophia from where he was digging through his packs on his bike, telling her to follow him.  
When she'd finally skipped over he ducked down and pressed a bag into her arms.

"Everythin' you'll need in there, sweetheart." He said quietly.  
She peaked into the bag and saw that it was filled with little sparkly tubes of teeny tampons, several things of panty liners, a bottle of Midol, several bags of chocolatebars and some one time use heating pads.

She squeaked out a thank you and hugged him around the middle.  
"Yeah yeah." He said, patting her head unsurely.  
"I'm awesome. Just uh… don't let the others know about that- k?" he pulled out a small plastic shoebox and held it out to her. "Got a reputation to uphold."  
'SOPHIA'S SURVIVAL KIT.' Was written in big loopy litters. It looked like a man had tried to make it look girly.

She giggled and kissed jumped up, kissing his cheek before running into the RV to hide her goodies.

Daryl chuckled as Carol brought him a plate of food.  
"She likes you." She noted.

"Nah…" Shook his head, a rueful grin on his face.

**Review? **


	2. Chapter 2

Daryl Dixon knew strategy. He knew odds and he knew numbers.  
And damn if he wasn't good at Texas Hold'em.  
But this... this.  
There were too many walkers. Too many of the dead trampling through the farm.  
Sophia was tucked between her mothers breasts. Carol's arms around her.  
"We've got guns and we've got cars." He heard Hershel say. It wouldn't be enough though.  
"Coral them?" He thought that was Andrea.  
"Maggie?" Glenn's hesitant voice brought him back from his counting.  
"You grow up country you learn a thing or two."

"I got the number, but it's no use." Daryl commented. "Sophia, come here." He told the girl. She looked up at her mother before going to stand next to him. "Yes sir?" she asked.

"Turn 'round.'' He told her in a no nonsense voice. She did as told while Carol watched hesitantly. Pulling a rubber band from his back pocket he pulled her knotted and sticky hair back with gentle fingers until it was tucked against the nape of her neck and tied in place.

"Alright." He sniffed, patting her shoulder.  
She turned around as gunshots rang through the air.

"What's that for?" She asked with a frown as she touched the small ponytail at the base of her skull.

Daryl didn't answer her. But he knew that Carol understood as she touched her own short locks. He was protecting her- if her hair was tied back, she couldn't be grabbed by it.

He'd said it was as good a day as any, but he couldn't help but know it wasn't her day. Not Sophia's. Not Carol's.

"Come on.'' He grabbed her hand and lead her to that ugly ass Hyundai where Glenn and Maggie were climbing in.

"Sophia!" He heard Carol call in terror as he pulled her away. He felt badly for it  
That Carol was afraid, but he couldn't help it. Shit had to get done.

"Momma!" She called back in terror as Daryl shot a limping Walker through the skull.

He felt Sophia wrenched out of his hands as Carol pulled her into a hug.

"There's no time." Daryl called back gruffly as he raced to Merle's bike and pulled out the blanket and a pair of protective ear muffs.

He flung open the door to the Hyundai and pulled Sophia away.  
''Gotta trust me.'' He whispered in Carol's ear. She sniffed and nodded, darting forward to kiss Sophia's head and back a step away.

"Up you go." He called, lifting Sophia into the car. "You lay down there now, you hear?" He asked after he'd settled her onto the floor boards between the seats.  
She nodded tearfully. "You lay down and you hold real still. Soon it'll be all over." He wiped away the tears. "No time for cryin' you can cry when it's done for. Now..." he pushed the hearing protection over her ears and guided her to lay down. "Lay down an' close your eyes. No need to see dead bodies flying."

She nodded. "Yes sir."

"Good girl." She smiled before pulling the blanket over her head and curling up in a ball.

The door was shut after she was properly tucked in, Daryl turned to Glenn, catching him around the collar.

"You fight for the farm, for your girl." He told him softly. "But time comes, you get the hell outta Dodge, you hear? Keep those girls safe." Glenn nodded quickly, his face showing he understood the responsibility Daryl was placing on his shoulders.

Within moments, Maggie was pulling away. The blue truck had gone and Carol was sobbing..  
"Come on' shit to do.'' He brushed past her, touching her elbow as he did.

It was then that it hit her.  
What he'd done. Glenn and Maggie were young and able. Glenn was a man who would fight to protect what he had at whatever cost.  
He'd given Sophia the best chance there was when it came to survival. He'd set up foster parents for her in case they all should fall.  
The very thought gave her hope.

_

**I'm sorry this isn't very fluffy or funny. Somehow, it's just how it came out.  
Thank ya'll so much for all the lovely reviews!  
After so many reviews and requests, I decided to continue with this fic.  
Thanks so much and make sure to leave a review!  
Perhaps a common item for Daryl to school them all on?  
theoriginalspike on tumblr suggested Tampons next, so that'll be next chapter, but if you have anything simmilar, I'd love to hear it!  
**


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry this took so long, Hopefully this and the next chapter will be enough to tide ya'll over. :P  
My apologies to Peeta2 for not updating Goodbye Ed. The Last few days have been weird. **  
**As always, please leave a review and let me know what you think! **  
**Next chapters will be fishing line, if you have any other items for Daryl to be knologable on. Lemmy know!**  
**Thanks for reading! **  
**Hannah**

_.+._ 

Rick's got honor." Daryl had said to her.

But did he? Did he have honor?  
This dictatorship (or Rick-tatorship, as Sophia had taken to calling it behind grown-up's backs ) wasn't gonna work... or was it? Lord knew Daryl didn't wanna be the leader. He could hardly take care of himself, how the hell was he supposed to take care of a whole group'a whiney bastards.

''You're not a burden.'' He mumbled in Carol's ear as he threw his longer sleeved flanal shirt and vest over her waist as she lay curled up with her head on one of his saddle bags. For some reason he felt the need to express this to her.  
"You're only a burden if ya let yourself be one." She watched him with her doe like eyes as he sat himself down near her.

The bones in his hips made an odd cracking noise as he settled into the earth.

"ewww." Sophia giggled from where she lay near Carol's head wrapped up in the Cherokee blanket.

"Oh hush." He chided. "I'm old."

"How old?" She asked, peeking her head up over the blanket.

"Old as a fart in a jar Teddy Dunchamp done made." He groused, thumbs tucked into his arm pits.

"Ew Daryl." Glenn commented as Hershel chuckled.

"I'm old 'nough to be yo' Daddy, Glenn. I can be disgusting if I like." He chuckled slightly as he took a deep breath of cold Georgia air, letting it fill his lungs and reach his toes.

"I didn't know eight year old had kids." Maggie said lightly.

"You never been too far up in the mountains have ya?" He asked, cracking eyelid.  
"And I'da been twenty one and a half the day your Momma lay with your Daddy."

Glenn scratched his head. "Nevermind. You are old."  
Daryl simply huffed, ignoring the smirk on Carol's lips.

Things were quiet for a while.  
The only noises that of T-Dogs foot steps as he walked the wall and the crackling of the fire.

"Justa 'possum" Daryl rolled his eyes as the whole camp jumped at a noise in the distance.

"How you know?" Beth whispered.

"Been following her. She just left that tree over there." Daryl commented, pointing to the left.

"Your eyes have been closed!" Sophia chided him.

"And how'd you know that? Seein' as yours were supposed to be as well." He raised brow at her.

"Couldn't sleep..." she mumbled.

"Hum...'sides." He shifted. "I can see farther in the dark with my eyes closed than when they're open."

"That doesn't make any sense." Lori commented confusedly from where she sat with her body wrapped around a soundly sleeping Carl. (Damn kid could sleep through a hurricane)

"To y'all maybe."

"You're weird." Sophia sang softly as she lifted his arm so she could crawl up on his lap. Daryl cracked an eyelid and raised a brow and lifted his arms for her but said nothing as she settled against his thighs.

It was a strange sensation, to have a human being on his legs. To be that close and him not have to expect sharp pain or distinct sexual pleasure.  
It made him sick sometimes to think that the closest he ever came in contact with another human being was to be beaten or fucked. And even then it was usually in the same span of time.

"You're cold." Whispered Sophia.

"Nah." He wiggled his nose as he closed his eyes again as momma opossum poked at her young where they lay under a bush ten feet away.

"You've got goosebumps.'' She said with a huff as she sat back up, her finger tracing down his goosefleshed arm. She looked down at the blanket she'd wrapped around herself then back up at Daryl.

"Can I have your knife?'' She asked, chewing on her bottom lip.

"No." He said before he could stop himself.  
"But you may use it.'' He unsheathed the buck knife from his hip and handed it to her pommel first.

She took it with a look of irritation, the sort of look you gave when faced with a grumpy English Teacher.

She looked slightly frightened of it for a moment before she squared her shoulders and spread out the blanket on her lap.  
Carol was watching the two anxiously. Daryl looked at her if to say 'lay back down. I won't let her chop off an arm.'  
With a quick movement Sophia cut a length of the blanket down the center and made a satisfied noise in the back of her throat.

She handed the knife back to Daryl, being careful of the blade and handing it pommel first just as he had.  
He sheithed it and watched with hidden amused curiosity and an 'oomph' as she stood up on her knees-  
(Managing to kneel right atop his manhood in the process) and pulled the blanket-now-poncho over his head.  
"There. Now we're both covered." She told him after she'd settled against his thighs once more.  
He let out a snort, but was thankful for the warmth any how.

After a bit of wiggling one of his hands settled under his belt while the other came to rest upon her forehead.

"o s da su no e, tsi-ga-li:-li" was the noise he made softly as he let sleep and warmth take over him.

_.+._

**o s da su no e, **  
**tsi-ga-li:-li**

**Roughly "goodnight, Chickadee" in Cherokee  
(online Source) **


	4. Chapter 4

**do you ever just have the strange need to write insanely cute Teacher!Daryl that's way to OOC from a Carl'ish point of view?  
Anyways! review please!  
**  
_.+._

Carl Grimes mostly feared Daryl Dixon.  
In fact. He was pretty sure everyone was scared of Daryl Dixon- at least a little bit.  
They'd be kinda stupid not to be.

Daryl was the kinda guy who knew a hundred ways to kill a person, fifteen ways to chop 'em up into little bitty peices and ten ways to hide said body so that no man (or dog) would ever ever not in a million years find you ever ever again.  
That being said,  
He was actually a pretty good teacher, much to the young boy's surprise.

He was kinda like your favorite uncle from your granddaddy's wife's side of the family.  
Sure, he was scary and ate raw squirrel.  
But he also knew some cool stuff too.  
Like how to make a sling shot, or how to turn corn into moonshine (for medicinal purposes of course) or how to make a noise like a squirrel. (How he got said squirrel to eat raw)

So yeah. Daryl was pretty cool if you thought about it.  
There were rules when it came to Daryl though.  
Like, don't get hit by him. Cause your head's liable to fall right off. (Carl had seen that with his very own eyes. Sure, the head belonged to a Walker, and it was pretty wobbly in the first place. But commeon! Who punches a Walker any way? Only a bon-a-fide bad ass. That's for sure.)  
Or don't touch his/Merle's bike- that'll piss him off.

Don't get too close all the sidden- that's a good way to get the wind knocked outta you real quick. (T-Dog learned that one the hard way)

Don't wake him up by touching him.  
(Glenn nearly ended up with a 'Colombian neck tie'... whatever that was) and you'd be quicker to get what you wanted if 'yes sir' and slower to if you called him 'Mr. Dixon'

Still. If you were good'n polite.  
Didn't get under his feet and didn't touch him while he was sleeping- he might actually teach you something worth knowing.

And when Daryl spoke, it was usually a good idea to listen.

_.+._

"Carl. Sophia commere." He said early one morning from where he sat nexto a pile of rock's they'd set up the night before.

Sophia bounded upwards from where she was sitting just inside the tent she, Daryl and Carol shared.  
(Three to a tent was the general rule- Daryl, Carol and Sophia in one. The Grimes in another. Beth Hershel and T-Dog to the left and Glenn and Maggie in another... it was best if they stayed by themselves, Rick had said. )

"Yeah?" Carl asked, looking up from where he had been poking at the dirt.

Daryl looked at him with an unamused look before jerking his head to where he was crouched on the ground. Carl brushed himself off before coming to stand behind him.

"That stake there? You know it goes."  
Both Carl and Sophia worked quickly to pound the spit into the ground where they would then build the fire underneath.  
After that was done and their work inspected Daryl nodded.

''Get to." Called Daryl softly, eyes flickering over to where Carol had stepped out of her tent and stepped aside to relive herself.

Carl nodded before pulling the small wad of cotton batting from the waterproof box near Sophia's feet and peeling open the wrapper and setting it on the ground,

"That's right. What next?" Daryl asked once the tampon had been layed out on the ground next to the pile of sticks and tinder.

"Mmm... flint?" Sophia offered when Carl just looked sleepily confused for an answer.

"That's right." He nodded as he handed the two pieces of stone to Carl. "Why can't we just use a lighter?" The boy asked Daryl with furrowed brows.

Sophia huffed, obviously knowing the answer. She crossed her arms in front of her chest and looked sideways at Daryl.

"Because.'' Daryl stated evenly- "lighters don't always work. Fuel runs out. Things break down. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. Things are goin' back to the earth- so we gotta use the earth to survive." This had Caught Hershel's attention- who'd looked up from where he had been looking over a map with Glen outside he and Maggie's tent. Hershel looked surprised but did not comment.

Carl nodded sternly as he watched his father settle in a camp chair, not far away from where they were. If Daryl noticed his gaze, he made no mention of it.

"Strike it- keep your thumb outta the way- dumbass." He growled as Carl got his thumb a bit too close.  
If there was one thing about Daryl's teaching style that was to be noted, it was that he told you something once and after you'd mastered the task, if you then forgot or you weren't paying attention to what you were doing. He didn't have a lotta patience for that sorta thing.  
"There ya go, bundle that up... Now blow real soft like... add your kindeling." Daryl nodded appreciatively at the small fire now forming. "Now you build up your sticks. Always use dry wood in this sorta situation. Green wood- or wet wood makes smoke. Smoke can be good or bad." He helped them pile up logs until there was good sized fire going and a cast iron dutch oven was heating up over it, the others slowly came to sit closer to the fire newly built as the sun and the new day slowly crawled over the world.  
Daryl kept his voice low- only really speaking to Carl and Sophia, but still loud enough if anyone else wanted to partake in the impromptu lesson.  
"You wanna keep smoke down if you don't want to be noticed. I'm still not sure how Walkers feel 'bout smoke- and we don't know who else is in the woods out here. We keep to ourselves. Just best that way. But say you'd want to make something to be seen- or maybe send smoke signals, what would you use to make the best smoke?"

"Uhhnm.. leaves?" Sophia asked with bright eyes.

"Leaves off trees!" Carl guessed.

"That's right. Green things makes smoke. So, Seeing as we don't wanna be blinded and I would rather not be covered in soot the rest of the day. We use as dry a'wood as we can.''

Daryl nodded, standing up and brushing his hands on his pants as he watched Carol come to sit near the flames. In the distance, a Dove was cooing to his love and a mockingbird was echoing back just to harass him.

"We're outta the water from the truck." Daryl told Rick who grunted in response, eyes sunken under his lids.  
"Got some this morning."

"It's still morning Daryl." Carol chuckled with a smile.

"Sophia. Get out that cotton.'' He said to her softly as Beth too emerged. Daryl called the tampons Cotton, Carl noted. There was a box for lady things and a box for extras to be used around camp. Cotton were the one's the men folk were aloud to touch.

"Get in on this, lil' Greene." He told Beth, waving her over. Beth yawned into her elbow but followed none the less.

"Gotta boil the water- gets rid of the bacteria and the parasites that could be in the water. But you can boil it all the day long and it'll still have dirt and shit in it." He told them. "A  
So what we do is we take this here funnel." He held out a funnel to Carl from a box of goodies brought back from town. Carl snatched it up with eager hands. "Layer two maybe three tampons in there."

Sophia did as she was told as Beth peered over her shoulder.

"Kay. Found this other day." He held up a little round disk of black stuff. "Had to break the damn thing open ta' get at it. But didn't look like it had been used much before."

"What is it?" Sophia asked as she watched Daryl place it in the funnel atop the cotton.

"Charcoal. From one a'them Britta filter thingies? It'll help keep the water clean. More layers water goes through- cleaner it gets. That's why ground water from an aquifer tastes so good. Goes through all the layers of rock and limestone- eh put two more a'them on top." He nodded "that's right. Now. Carl. You use that there pumpy thing to slowly- SLOWLY!" he held up his hands as Carl pushed eagerly on the hand pump. "Now, pump the water from one jug to the other. " Carl nodded, pushing down on the hand pump attached to the one water jug until it filled up the funnel. A moment later, it dripped through clear and clean into the other blue water cooler jug.  
"That's pretty cool." Beth said happily.

"Yeeep. Now chop chop and get that filtered through. I need Coffee before I can deal with your ol'man all day. That shit wears on a man's nerves." He chuckled to Beth as he stood up and Hershel rolled his eyes.

"Watch'em? Make sure they don't tip it over. I don't fancy lugging twenty gallons up hill again." He asked Carol who nodded quietly as he slipped into the woods to hunt, his crossbow on his back.


	5. Chapter 5

**This is one whacked ass chapter. I've no idea what I just did. Probably what Daryl did. Pulled something outta his ass. *sighsss* Seemed so much better in my own head, but what'evs. I do not, nor will I ever suhgest transcendental medication. dangerous shit that. But for some reason. It's just what I saw his 'Zen' being.  
So yeah. Thank you all SO much for all the reviews and favorites and so on! you're all lovely**!

**"Highwaymen." Belongs to it's respective artists and owners. **

**_.+._**

  
They had moved since that morning.  
Geeks had moved in again nearly tearing the place apart.  
They were in another town.  
But Daryl- Daryl was in another place, another county, another world even.

As he lay down on the lumpy lazyboy in the corner, he'd let his mind wander.  
He'd started wandering the woods outside of Helene Georgia.  
He could hear the sound of bird chirping.  
He could hear a Mockingbird calling out a train call.

To his left there was a frog bellowing low and deep, to his right a creek- one he'd trapieased through time and time again as a child.  
These were _his _woods. The place where he came to escape everything.  
Where he came to escape pain, and torture.  
School and Sharp words.

He wasn't sleeping-  
Not really. He was in his body, but not.  
It was a technique he'd used often as a child.  
You'd be surprised where you could go sitting in one place.  
''_just as long as you keep tethered, son." _His Grandfather had told him one day upon finding the boy spread eagle on the front porch, his eyes glazed over. _"You can travel the world, climb the highest mountain. But there's a golden thread that keeps us where we are. Keeps our souls in our bodies. Let that break, you'll be lost forever."_

There was a fox, ducking in and out of the undergrowth, Daryl crouched down- watching it's movements.

_"Do you think he's sleeping?" _a voice behind him called.  
It sounded far away- nothing but an echo. An older boy.

He didn't think it was him though. Sometimes he came to visit him when he was away like this. The little boy now a grown man. But no, this was another man's son.  
This was not Old Man Dixon's little boy with ruddy skin and hair the color of corn-silk.

_"No."_ Another voice commented. This one belonging to a female. _"I think he's just in his Zen Palace." _

_"Zen Palace?"_ the boy asked again. Daryl braced his face against his hand. His arm propped up on one knee. _'Just go away. Just go away.' _  
_  
"Well yeah. He's always mumbling about how we're not Zen enough and stuff… and he's kinda like Sherlock. And Sherlock had a Mind Palace. So why not?" _the little girl whispered. He liked this little girl.  
didn't remember her name. Not here. Not in his woods. But he knew he wanted her safe.  
Unwittingly. He looked around, worried that the Old Man would be there, lurking in the shadows.

_"I imagine something with Pillows."_ She giggled, looking down at the silent hunter. _"And a giant squirrel with a harness so he can ride it. And a giant rebel flag."  
_  
Deep in his chest, he felt the tug of a golden cord, calling him back to reality. He sighed, standing back up. Whatever it was that he'd been running from- this place where he was safe and warm in the sunshine…

"And all the stinky cigarettes he could smoke." Carl snickered.

"Daryl doesn't smoke." Sophia commented crossly.

"Of course he does! Haven't you seen the movies? He's like the redneck James Dean. And James Dean always smoked." Carl protested.

"What are you two doing?" Lori asked, walking over to the two who were leaning over the redneck.

"Annoying the crap outta me." Daryl sighed, eyes still closed.

"See! Told you he wasn't sleeping! He still has those funny lines on his forehead. He doesn't have those when he's sleeping."

"You creepin' on me while I sleep, lil' girl?" he asked, sitting up with a creak of his bones and the chair springs.

"No." She said quickly, eyes wide- her head shaking.

"Uuhhuuhhh." He drawled, waving Lori away as everyone settled in for the night.

"It's your turn, Daryl." Carl told him, flopping himself down next to the fireplace where a slow fire was smoldering.

"My turn to what?" he asked, nodding thankfully as Carol handed him a cup of hot coffee.

"Tell a story." Carl told him. "Dad was last night, Hershel the night before. So it's your turn."

Lori looked uneasily at Beth who shrugged her shoulders.

"I don't know." He grumbled into his cup of coffee. "I ain't got any good stories."  
None that they wanted to hear, or could hear. At least.

"THAT'S NOT TRUE!" Sophia piped up. "I bet you've done something! Or wrestled a hog or shot a bald Eagle after he took your hat!"

"Why'd I shoot something on the endangered list?" he asked. "That'd be just asinine, Eagles are too gamey. Sides, why would a Bald Eagle steal my hat?" he asked quite seriously.

"To hide his baldness, duh…" She stated back just as seriously- though with a smile.

"Jesus. Fine. Sit yo' ass down" he gestured next to Carl where he sat huddled under his blanket.

Everyone knew the stories weren't for the adults, that they were for Carl and Sophia, (sometimes Glenn and Beth and Maggie. ) They were for the ones who were still young enough to have some sense of hope in this bullshit world.

Daryl wracked his brain for something he could use. Damn these kids for wanting something actually interesting.  
"The only two things in life that make it worth livin'-," he wiggled a forefinger at Carl "Is guitars that tune good and firm feelin' women" Daryl nodded smartly as Rick grinned.

"Ehm." Lori coughed.

Daryl furrowed his brows.  
"Fine. Maybe not that one." He rubbed at the goatscruff (What Sophia called it) on his chin in thought.

"Long time ago. There was this old man. Cherokee. By the name of Salal, but most people called him Saul cause no one could pronounce his name. So anyway. He was talking to his grandson one day.  
His name was Se lu- Si li gi,"

Sophia giggled at the strange gargled noise that had come out of his mouth.

"Hey!" he shouted. "That's a damn good name."

"What's it mean?" Beth asked from where her head lay upon her Daddy's chest.

"Corn Silk." He huffed, lips twisted up. "Cause his hair was so pretty." **  
**Sophia giggled again, somehow watching Daryl flip his hair like a valley-girl was amusing as all get out.  
Even Carol cracked a smile as she curled herself around Sophia's shoulders.

"So anyway- Saul was old old old. Had wrinkles up and down his face. He was so old, that part of him was here, but another part was in the afterlife. So one day. His Grandson asked him what he saw, So the old man closed his eyes and said _'I'll show you._'" Daryl nodded quickly as he shifted in his seat, hoping to get this shit overwith. "Old Man Grabbed the young boys hand and the young boy saw what the Granddad could.  
Group'a men stood there. Different faces, different outfits. One guy stepped up,

_"__I was a highwayman.'_ The first man said, he was an older man. Sixties or so. Had a big nose and hounddog eyes. Kinda looks like he smoked a bit too much wacky tabbacky."  
Rick snorted into his own cup, a small grin on his tired face.

"What's wacky tabbacky?" Beth asked Maggie who just shook her head, telling her later would be best.

"_'long the coach roads I did ride.__  
With sword and pistol by my side.  
Many a young maid lost her baubles- _that's like, uhh. Beads, right?" He asked Carol who nodded._  
"Lost it to my trade.__  
Many a soldier shed his lifeblood on my blade.  
The bastards hung me in the spring of twenty-five.  
But I am still alive."_

Carl was watching with wide eyes, Sophia in rapt attention.

"So the second guy steps up. Big guy with creepy blue eyes, and a big white beard."

"Like Hershel!" Carl laughed.

"Nah. Hershel's better lookin'." Daryl stated without missing a beat.

"Says- _I was a sailor. I was born upon the tide.__  
And with the sea I did abide.  
I sailed a schooner round the Horn to Mexico.  
I went aloft and furled the mainsail in a blow.  
And when the yards broke off they said that I got killed.  
But I am living still."  
_Daryl ran his hand over his face.

"Third guy steps up; Dark hair, dark beard, big sorta dimples.  
And he says _'I was a dam builder across the river deep and wide.__  
Where steel and water did collide.  
A place called Boulder on the wild Colorado.  
I slipped and fell into the wet concrete below.  
They buried me in that great tomb that knows no sound-"_ Carl gasped, his hands over his mouth. Sophia looked a bit pale, but held herself a bit stronger.

Daryl held up his hand- _"But I am still around.__  
I'll always be around, and around, and around, and around, and around_.  
This time the guy waves his hand in a circle. Not sure what that was about." Daryl shrugged.

"But then this new guy comes. Last guy. And he's dressed like Spock or some shit. But he makes it look good." Daryl gave a sharp nod.  
"Man was a chill bastard. Dressed in head to toe black, black pompadour, not a guy you wanna fu—mess around with." He shook his head, not unlike a dog. "then this guy- this man in black says- _I fly a starship across the Universe divide.__  
And when I reach the other side,  
I'll find a place to rest my spirit if I can.  
Perhaps I may become a highwayman again.  
Or I may simply be a single drop of rain.  
But I will remain.  
And I'll be back again, and again, and again, and again, and again."_

"The point of all this. The old man said to his grandson. Is that everything you touch, everything you do- makes a difference. So don't be a fuck up and don't kill people for no damn good reason. Protect your own. But don't be a dumbass about it. Everything touches everything else. Those we love, they stay with you." He shrugged, putting the empty coffee cup on the mantle.

"That's it?" Glenn asked.

"All I got."

"Cool." Carl nodded, wondering why Hershel seemed to be laughing.

"Bed. Both of you. It's late." Lori muttered, sitting up.

"Gon' get me some sleep. Have some wacked ass dreams." T-Dog commented from his nest.

"Johnny Cash huh?" Rick asked quietly in Daryl's ear. A friendly hand on his shoulder.  
"Ain't nothin' better than the man in black." He snorted ruefully.

"Way to pull it out your ass. The Cherokee was a nice touch."

Daryl brushed his shoulder as if to say 'you know how I do'  
But once Rick had walked away. He let his expression fade.

"Night Daryl." Sophia called from her place in her mother's arms.

"'Sv no yi- Usdi." He groused, throwing the poncho over she and Carol's shoulders before settling in his chair for the night.


	6. Chapter 6

**Hello lovelies! A new chapter! I wanna thank HappyBlueInk for lending me a hand on this, because honestly. I wasn't sure if I had over fluffed this to heeeeel. But! I figure it makes up for it, since next chapter should be a crapton of angst. Least. that's the deal.  
I have actually found this fiction to be some what of a series of oneshots in a cohesive manner. Meaning! there's not really any plot arc I'm going for... **  
**ya get my drift? This chapter was inspired by a Nonny named LL, so here's to you, darling! **  
**Thank you all so much for all the favorites and reviews, you're all sweet and a glorious help! **  
**Quote is just something that was bouncing around in my head while I wrote this so yep. **  
**Also, there'll be a note at the bottom. take a look if you rpg and are ready for me to shamelessly self plug. Thanks much, enjoy and review! **

**_.+._.+._.+._.+._ **

_**"And what happened then...? Well...in Who-ville they say**_  
_**That the Grinch's small heart grew three sizes that day!" Dr. Seuss's How The Grinch Stole Christmas.**_

**_.+._.+._.+._.+._ **

Everything outside was still.  
The wind had stopped it's howling, and so had the wolf/dog in the distance.

Daryl lay as he nearly always did nowadays,  
On his back with Sophia curled into his side (for warmth. He insisted to himself. It wasn't like the damn kid was attached to him and it was a well known fact Daryl was a bit of a space heater) and Carol on the other side of Sophia.  
He was retracing his steps today-  
Tying to figure out where they'd gone wrong. How such a shit day had happened. Sophia had near lost her leg-  
Caught in the barbed wire-  
He could still smell the blood on her as he hauled her off the fence-  
Still hear her cries.

A moan and a whine caught his attention.

He looked down at Sophia, brushing her hair away from her face. But she was peacefully asleep, her thumb near her mouth (he would store that information away for later) and her eyelashes dusting her cheeks in a pleasant dream she'd never remember.

If the whine hadn't come from Sophia, and it damn sure hadn't come from him, then it must have-

He lifted his head and peered at Carol. She was curled up in a ball (strange since she usually slept on her left side, body covering Sophia's. As if she could protect her in her sleep.)  
(It still unnerved Daryl when she would lay across Sophia, and have a fistfull of his shirt.  
She only did this in the deepest of sleeps. But he'd woken on more than one occasion with a yelp as she grabbed a fistful of shirt-and-chest-hair, eyes firmly closed.)

"You alright?" He asked, reaching over and touching her shoulder lightly.

"Yeah." She nodded in a warbled voice.

"No you ain't. You need me to go get Hershel?" She looked up, brow creased in pain.

"No. It's fine. He can't help. I've suffered this many a time. Thank you though."

Thoughts of Ed flashed through his mind, his face- his hands on His woman, fists into soft flesh.  
He sat up with an angry huff, kneading at his eye sockets. Trying to rid the fury from his veins.  
"The hell he do to you?" He asked roughly.

"Who?" she whispered back in confusion.

"You know who." He grunted back. On the covers between them, Sophia turned over, her ass in the air- having been jostled in the hubbub.  
Daryl snorted, covering the girl back up.  
Despite the momentary amusement- he still felt the dull ache of a bruised pelvic bone from a few too many kicks with a steel toed boot.

"Daryl- he's dead. Ed's dead. He didn't hurt me." She insisted worriedly.

"So. Don't mean he didn't bust something." He whispered back, though harsher than he intended.

And then. She giggled.  
She fucking giggled.

"Daryl. My stomach hurts." She told him quietly- so as not to wake the girl between them.

"You're dyspeptic?" He asked with a frown. "I can get you some baking soda..."

She giggled again at the old-fashioned word '"No- it's not my stomach- it's my abdomen."

"That's it. I'm getting Hershel." He reached for his boots.

"Daryl!" She said softly, touched by his insistence on her health. "It's normal."

"Hell if it is. You don't impress me as a whiner." He felt her hand on his elbow.  
You didn't get the crap beat outta you on a weekly basis and whine at a paper cut.

"Aunt Martha came." She told him. Now he was really confused.

"'Scuse me?"

"You know. The Aunt who shows up but rarely is announced and doesn't bring any luggage?" He gave her a befuddled look.

"Momma?" Sophia asked, looking up. "You okay?"

"Yeah baby- go back to sleep." She nodded, but continued to look at them sleepily.  
"What were you sayin'?" He asked, turning back to Caryl after tucking blankets around Sophia's feet.

"Aunt Flow? Crimson tide? Time of the month? Cycle of life?" Mostly she just liked the owlish expression on her face as she listed off silly names.  
He blinked at her.  
"Huh?"

Sophia, who had caught on to the conversation, piped up, "You know Daryl,  
Shark week?, The Red Badge of Courage? On the rag? Cotton on? Miss Scarlett has returned to Tara? Japanese Flag Week? Ovum independence day?" Sophia grinned at his reddened face. "Crimson Horror?"

To some extent, he understood why Sophia so loved to pull his leg.  
Having grown up in a similar household- there wasn't much for joking or yankin' chains, so yeah. He understood why Sophia irritated him intentionally and pushed boundaries, that didn't mean that it wasn't annoying as hell some times.

Daryl frowned placed his hand on her head (gently) shoving her head back onto the pillow.  
"The eff to sleep, Sophia!" He growled as she giggled out a 'yes sir'

"Daryl. It's period cramps." He let out a harsh huff of air, turning back to Carol.

"You're menstruatin''? That's it?" He groused, face bright red and gut twisted with embarrassment.

She nodded. "My uterus is being a bitch, not your fault. nothing you can do about it- thank you though, for worrying..'' she smiled softly at him/

Now Daryl had seen that episode of Supernatural. And he'd damn well seen his Momma thrash.  
He couldn't imagine one of his muscles squeezing blood outta him for a week straight with out dying. So he figured it must hurt like hell.

So, squaring his shoulders. He decided to suck it up. Use the set his Momma grew in such an organ and said: "Sophia. Move over." He nudged her into the spot he'd been laying in. She curled happily into the warm nest he'd left behind as he put down his shoe and scooted into the place Sophia had vacated.  
He shoved a purple powerpuff girl pillow behind his back and gestured to Carol.

"Lay down then." He told her pointedly as he put his hands together.  
Carol lay down on her back as she was told to remove this word and watched in awe as he started to rub the flat of his palms together in a quick motion.

"Woooooow." Sophia whispered from where she was looking up at him, eyes peeking over the sleeping bag. "Daryl's Mr. Miyagi!"  
"Sophia Lynn, turn over. Close your eyes and go to sleep." He demanded- (though without much venom. Damn kid just needed to go to sleep. He was too old for this shit.)

"Yes sir." She nodded, finally turning over with a yawn and a thump.

"Lift up your shirt." He told Carol quietly once Sophia had closed her eyes. She did just that. He couldn't help but gulp at the view of her creamy white skin.

He looked up at her as he moved his hands together quicker still, making sure she was fine with what he was about to do.  
When she nodded, he pulled his hands apart and placed them under her navel, letting the heat from the friction of his calloused hands seep into her skin.

She sighed breathily at the sensation of his hands on her skin, his palms pressing down into the muscle.

He felt lightheaded as his thumbs brushed under the waistband of her sleep pants, brushing what felt like a soft tuft of hair.

He muttered an apology- fingers still lightly digging into her skin.  
_'Just a muscle. Nothing more. Shoulder. Leg. Just a muscle. If it gets her to lay down and quit whining so I can sleep. We'll all be happier in the morning.' _ He told himself, willing the horror (and that faint arousal) away.

"That- ah-" he swallowed. ''Better?" He asked after a moment or two more.

"Yes." She nodded as he pulled his hands away. She found herself missing the touch already. "That was blissful. Thank you."

He grunted, saying nothing else before laying back down between his girls, fluffing Buttercup and Bubbles under his ears.

"Night Daryl." He heard a while later as a kiss was placed to his temple.  
He said nothing. Feigning sleep.

**_.+._ **

That morning, he woke with the sun (as he usually did) both rising over the trees and in his chest.  
Both arms were asleep and he had an uncomfortable digging in his side. (Sophia's left knee. Bony damned thing)  
But as he opened his eyes and found Sophia and Carol both curled around his chest, both arms thrown around their shoulders protectively. He couldn't help but feel a strange tingling warmth spread through out his body at the dawn of a new day.

**_.+._.+._.+._.+._ **

**OKAY! SO! I have been trying to get a Zombie Apocalypse/Walking Dead style/Survival Roleplay game up on tumblr. **  
**Everything is set up, we just need players! there's premade bio's and we're open to Original characters! And I would SO love to see some applications sent in!**

**The address is those-underground-rpg dOt tumblr dOt com**  
**Seriously! please! take a look at the plot and if you have any questions, I'm more than happy to answer 'em!**  
**Thanks so much! **

**Hannah/J&H**

**(for feathers because ff is a pain in the buttox)**  
**(why did that come out in a Forrist Gump voice?)**


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